Warning:
This film isn't for everyone. Among those who should not see it are:
- Homophobics. (There are several
 "homer-sexuals" featured, and you better
watch out because they might be trying to recruit you.)
- Anyone under 17. (Without your ultra-liberal
mommy and daddy by your side.)
- Militant lesbians. (The thought that a
lesbian could actually be attracted to a man will just ruin your day.)
- Anyone collecting social security. (Unless
suffering from such a prolonged adolescence that skateboards and comic
books don't seem bizarre to you.)
- Members of the Religious Right. (Or anyone
else who believes sex is those letters, "M" and
"F" you must choose between on job applications.)
For the rest of us—or should I
say both of us—Chasing Amy is a wonderfully written, quirky, low-budget
film from Kevin Smith, the writer/director of Clerks and Mallrats.
The movie is about a pair of friends, Holden McNeil (Ben
Affleck, who is a natural to play Bruce Springsteen if anyone ever cares
to do his life story), and Banky Edwards (Jason Lee, who made the
"natural" leap from a skateboarding star to acting), who are the
creators of a comic book with a large cult following.
Until they meet fellow comic book artist Alyssa Jones (Joey
Lauren Adams, former wife of director Smith), Holden and Banky are sailing
through life as smooth as a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Alyssa has, what
should I call it, a presence about her. Ah, the hell with political
correctness—Alyssa is one incredible, get-your-heart-pounding babe.
Holden falls head over feet for the charming Alyssa. Who
wouldn't fall in love with her? There's only one small
problem—she's a lesbian.
Holden and Banky, who aren't exactly what I would call
worldly, spend most of the film proving how sheltered their lives have
been. Upon learning Alyssa is gay, Banky asks the question that's been on
the minds of sages for eons: "If you're into women, do you get turned
on when you look at yourself naked in the mirror?"
That's the mildest example of the hilarious dialog that I can
relay, most of it centering around graphic descriptions of oral sex. As I
said, this film isn't for everyone.
Holden and Alyssa finally do get together, much to the dismay
of Banky, (who it seems has been suppressing his "true" feelings
for his friend Holden) and Alyssa's lesbian friends, who are threatened by
the idea that their exclusive, us-against-them
world has been betrayed by
a "Bernadette" Arnold.
Somehow, this relationship manages to work-temporarily.
Holden gets to live out the male fantasy of being such a barrel of
testosterone that he has convinced a lesbian to, in the immortal words of
Jerry Seinfeld, "switch sides."
But, alas, all is not well in this dream world. Holden finds
out that Alyssa isn't quite the lesbian he thought he had conquered. She
has a past. A past involving heterosexual activity-quite a bit and not
limited to one partner at a time.
This is too much for his fragile male ego. Not only didn't he
get Alyssa to switch sides, it turns out she's had much more experience in
the bedroom (and in the kitchen, and on the school bus, and under the ...)
than stud-boy Holden.
He can't take it. He dumps her.
While this ultra-low budget film will never get any kudos for
cinematography, it has an Academy-Award quality screenplay. Chasing Amy is
a wonderful, hilarious, love story.
Even if the closest you've ever come to an actual, real-life "homer-sexual" is when you rented Richard
Simmons' "Sweatin' to the Oldies," you'll be able to identify with
the universal themes in Chasing Amy.
Grade A
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