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A saint he ain't By Glenn Danforth © Copyright 1995 Glenn Danforth |
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If
you’re the type of moviegoer who goes nuts every time you’re expected
to briefly suspend your view of reality (like cringing when Sean Connery
speaks a line in his thick Scottish accent while playing a Russian in The
Hunt for Red October), keep your money in your wallet because The Saint isn’t for you.If, like me, you are willing to overlook cases of patent stupidity, The Saint is a great excuse to avoid homework. Val Kilmer revives the role of Simon Templar—from the Roger Moore television series and Leslie Charteris novels—the gentleman-thief who uses more than a dozen disguises to help with his two hobbies: seducing beautiful women and stealing. Elisabeth Shue plays Emma Russell, a sweet, soft-spoken, naive nuclear scientist we are supposed to believe finally solves the puzzle of nuclear fusion. For some reason the screenwriter decided to use the evil Russian empire as the film’s antagonist, a role they hadn't enjoyed since the Reagan administration. A Rasputin-like Russian billionaire (of which I’m sure Russia is fully stocked) and his coke-snorting, GQ-cover-model son, decide they want control of Russia. After all, what right-minded, mega-rich man wouldn’t want to give up the martini-drenched world of  parties, supermodels and 90-foot yachts for Boris
Yeltsen’s job?Just how does a billionaire go about seizing power in Russia these days? Perhaps a few carefully placed rubles greasing the proper palms? Nah.  Hire Simon Templar to seduce the fusion formula out of Dr. Russell so you can provide heat to the millions of Russians freezing to death. Evidently they never thought to ask Dr. Russell for the formula that she had been planning to give to anyone who bothered to ask. Templar uses a few of his disguises, unfortunately none of which are Jim Morrison or Batman, to get into Emma Russell’s, ummmm, head. But, as it turns out, I wasn’t the only one falling in love with Dr. Russell. That’s where the action begins. After sending the formula to his employers, Templar also manages to get screwed by the evil Ruskies, who want him dead and Russell kidnapped. The film has several good laughs and the heat generated by Shue and Kilmer had the theater’s air conditioning straining. I won’t ruin the ending for you since the filmmakers did such a fantastic job on their own. Despite moments of monumental stupidity, the action and the performances of Shue and Kilmer make
The Saint worthy of the strain
on your VCR.Grade B- |
The Saint