Virus Warning for the Gullible - Glenn Danforth's Humor Factory



Virus Warning for the Gullible By Glenn Danforth © Copyright 2002 Glenn Danforth - All rights reserved

Humor Menu Main Page Saturdays At The Swamp Columns: Gators-Seminoles Virus Warning Mother-In-Law Hell Alien Pregnancy Peas & Parenthood Bambino's Curse Florida Christmas 1 Florida Christmas 2 Does it go with Fish? Horoscope for the Reality Impaired: Horoscope 1 Horoscope 2 Horoscope 3 Horoscope 4 Horoscope 5 Horoscope 6 Horoscope 7 Quizzes: Fightin' Irish Ready for College? Roommate Wanted Sexual Knowledge Video: Horoscope 1 Funny Photos: Kids My Strange Pals Animals Demon Alcohol Sexy Stuff Miscellaneous: Cartoon Collection Who is Responsible?		Note: I wrote this virus warning as a last, desperate attempt to stop my friends from filling my mailbox with the latest computer virus hoaxes. Feel free to send it to the next person who sends you a virus hoax believing they are saving you from inevitable doom. If you receive an email entitled "Are you gullible?" DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY! Do not open it. This message contains an insidious virus that will infect both your hard drive and anyone who comes in contact with it. The virus was reported this morning on the Web site of the Center for Disease Control (Division of Insidious E-Mail Viruses). AVOID INTIMATE CONTACT WITH YOUR HARD DRIVE unless you wear protection! The Center for Disease Control recommends use of an anti-static wrist band. If one is not available, you must wrap yourself in latex or plastic (such as trash bags or Saran Wrap). THIS IS NOT A JOKE! YOU COULD BECOME INFECTED TOO!!!! Signs of computer infection include constantly receiving e-mails from people who know you'll take great measures to: 1) avoid the latest virus 2) prevent getting stuck by AIDS-infected needles left in phone booths 3) getting eaten by alligators in sewers 4) keep your college roommate alive because you don't need automatic straight-As that much 5) avoid those Satanic Procter & Gamble products 6) get your share of the cash Bill Gates is giving away to test the power of e-mail forwarding Signs of human infection include: 1) Speaking in tongues (you might begin communicating with others who are infected through a common form of gibberish. Pseudo-words commonly used include: baud, BinHex, byte, cursor, cyberspace, ASCII, TCP/IP, Telenet, TIFF, gif and Winsock). 2) Loss of whatever bit of common sense you may have had. (The first sign is, after getting the latest e-mail chain letter, you find yourself reaching for "forward" instead of "delete.") These are but a few signs of possible infection. The only sure sign that you are infected is that you start believing in the existence of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and urban legends such as the everyday virus hoaxes that circulate via e-mail. YOU MUST FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW (and 12.734 percent of the people you don't know)!!! HURRY! Any hesitation on your part might allow time for you to come to your senses. THE CAPITAL LETTERS SHOULD PROVE THIS IS REAL! IF NOT, THEN THE OVERUSE OF EXCLAMATION POINTS SHOULD CONVINCE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For more information on this and other big, bad, scary viruses check out the Center for Spreading the Gullibility Virus at http://www.imaginemedia.org/humor/ or http://www.urbanlegends.com/ © Copyright 2002 Glenn Danforth - All rights reserved